The problem with setting resolutions is that we disappoint ourselves and others when we don’t follow through on them. Listen as RESET Your Buttons® author Mary Elizabeth Murphy and her special guest Gary Erdakos explore the concept of Realistic Resolutions. Gary describes how he sets and sustains his resolutions, the difference between should and should, when a rut is a good thing and why we always have choice.
• The European Journal of Social Psychology says it takes a minimum of 66 days to change a habit. Gary explains how his process can take up to 6 months. It’s about planning and automation and how planning and automation helps him to sustain the change.
• Gary and Mary Elizabeth discuss the differences between needs, wants and shoulds. Mary Elizabeth is concerned about Gary’s use of the word should – he shares his definition or intention behind what he means by the word should. When is should appropriate. In the book RESET Your Buttons we discuss the Personal Responsibility Model courtesy of Keith Ayers and the Integro Institute in Australia. The PR model points us to choice vs. should or have to. The secret is thinking through to the consequences or outcomes
• Ultimately, can we create the ruts by automating the shoulds to accomplish our desired outcome, which then ultimately is our choice after all?
“What we found was that it takes 66 days on average for people in our study to acquire a habit,” says Professor Jane Wardle, of University College London, who carried out the study with Dr. Phillippa Lally.
“Stop should-ing on yourself” Unknown Source
“The things you should do, but you don’t have to do and you don’t necessarily want to do, but they’re beneficial” Gary Erdakos
“It’s taking longer than we thought” Cecil Adams
“We have discovered (from the research study discussed on Wednesday) that a major indicator of a couple’s overall happiness is what we’ve come to call their Emotional Bank Account.”