Here is a peek behind the curtain – I started this on a Thursday morning as an email to our S.T.A.R. Resources community, during the process, I was hijacked by the Noid’s rant and walked away.
I decided to post this here in case you aren’t on our email list. It includes a few tips and tricks from how I RESET. I hope you will use these the next time your Saboteur (aka the Noid) takes hold.
So another weekend is right around the corner. It’s pretty interesting how quickly time still seems to move even though our lives seemed to have been in slow down mode these past six months.
Recently I was lamenting with a friend that I was sad to see summer coming to an end as it’s my favorite season. He responded that he likes the change of seasons because just when he is beginning to get tired of or bored with the weather or the events of the season, something new is just around the corner.
Just as the heat of summer becomes a bit too much to bear, the crispness of fall begins. And as the trees lose their leaves and the darkness of night comes quicker to end the day, a spark of joy starts to fill the air with the anticipation of the holidays. And then as we begin to feel just a bit too much cabin fever from the snow and ice of winter’s blanket, the flowers of spring begin to pop up their heads, and before you know it, we are back to the pools and popsicles again.
My friend did a great job of helping me to RESET how I was feeling about the change of seasons. And yes, though I still was a little sad to think about closing up the pool, I began looking forward to fall colors and warm, cozy fires in the fireplace.
The Ranting Noid (or the voice of the Saboteur)
While I’m writing this, I’m also aware of the ranting “Noid” whispering in my ear. “How can you be calm about the change of seasons? You still don’t know what to expect? What about COVID and flu season, what about the election, what about civil unrest and the economy? Mary Elizabeth, how can you write about the calm and beauty of the transition of seasons while the reality of life is blaring all around you?”
Wow, do you notice the difference of how you are feeling right here right now after reading about the Noid’s rant? Is it different from when you were reading about the lovely change of seasons? I went from calm and smiling to anxiety and furrowed brow in a nanosecond.
The RESET Model, Method, and Mindset
R – in the RESET model is for Recognize. E – is for Expectation. Let’s chat for a bit about both of those.
To work with the Model, the Method, and the Mindset of RESET Your Buttons is to start by just noticing.
Recognize is when we “just notice” the reaction we are having or sometimes the lack of reaction. You pause and note your emotional and physical responses. I found joy when I thought about what my friend said, enough to paint this word picture for you. And as I wrote it, I was calm and hopeful. It gave me an Expectation of how the change of seasons could be something to look forward to instead of something to dread.
Let’s pause and look here for a moment. Recognize how you feel as you read my descriptions of seasons changing? Go ahead and reread it. I’ll wait.
What do you recognize
As you read the paragraph that describes the change of seasons, how did you feel? Were you calm, hopeful, serene? Did it conjure up memories of happier days? Perhaps it gave you something to look forward to, even if only for a moment. Memories can do that for us.
How is your breathing? How did your body react? Did a little bit of a smile begin to come across your face as memories of seasons past and hopeful thoughts for the seasons ahead began to seep into your consciousness?
OK, now hold onto all that goodness because we are about to go into Part 2 of this experience. No, really, lock it in.
Here’s how to Lock It In
Close your eyes (well wait, read this first), fully feel all your feels, see the scenes, smell the smells, hear the sounds, taste the yummy foods, pumpkin spice, anyone? You got it, all the senses engaged? Now, slowly take a deep breath for a count of 5 – 7, hold it for a count of 3, and slowly exhale. Do this three times.
OK – here we go …
Enter The NOID/Saboteur
In my book, RESET Your Buttons, I refer to the saboteur voice that loves to spoil my good mood, my peace, my serenity, and my motivation. I call it The NOID. It’s like those annoying gnats or fruit flies we are experiencing here in North Carolina this year. The Noid buzzes around my head and is continuously rattling on about the opposite. And it’s never the positive opposite. It’s always the doom and gloom of it all. It’s how I’m failing to live up to my potential or faltering in my values. It likes to remind me why life is hard.
So, as I continued to put words to the computer screen about what the Noid was whispering in my ear, I R- recognized that my body was tensing up. I was taking shorter and more shallow breaths. My body started to heat up, and my heartbeat quickened. I was feeling anxious and fearful. And worse – I heard myself think, “yeah, after all, what’s the point. Who am I to be spewing hope in a hopeless world?”
My hopeful dream or E- expectation of what the change of seasons could become quickly became a nightmare filled with fear, self-doubt, and hopelessness. Once I turned my attention to the Noid and began to write what it was saying in my head, I stopped writing. I gave up, walked away from the computer.
Thankful for Thursdays
Luckily, this happened on a Thursday. Thursday night happens to be our RESET Your Buttons Community Call. Our community of practice joins me on our ZOOM call at 7 pm ET to work with the Model, practice the Method, and RESET our Mindset. I facilitate the call and we all practice applying the Method to change our Mindsets in real-time. It’s kinda like having your own team of gnat swatters.
We use the hour to talk through what pushed our buttons that week. We implement the RESET Method as we work through the Model.
That Thursday we covered a variety of topics –
- how to not give yourself away, or giving too much of yourself
- dealing with the necessary “to-dos” of life, like renewing driver’s license and doctors visits
- how when we use industry slang, we can confuse and not even be aware of it, resulting in unmet expectations or disappointments
- how to create safe spaces that encourage questions for clarity
- and my personal favorite, people do things for their reasons, not our reasons
After the call, as always, I felt better. You will notice that my little incident with the Noid didn’t even make the list of topics. And still, I was able to RESET.
Since the call, I reminded myself that despite what is happening today in the world, the seasons are still going to change. I can’t control the seasons’ change just like I can’t control what is happening in the world.
However, I can control My Mindset, My Choices, and My Actions. We call this T- take stock so that ultimately we can Disarm those buttons. I continued writing.
Will the Noid go away? No. It has a job to do. And part of it’s job is to have us E-examine our core values. So though it can be as annoying as a gnat or fruit fly, it serves a purpose. As long as we Recognize when it shows up, review the Model, take ourselves S -self through the Method, sometimes with the help of others, we will continue to control our Mindset.
We’d love for you to join us on a Thursday night. Click here to register